


Damn the Electric Fence

by cakeisnotpie



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bad Poetry, Love Confessions, M/M, Poetry, Silly little Drabble, cow poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 12:38:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14593212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cakeisnotpie/pseuds/cakeisnotpie
Summary: Seems someone is writing bad cow poems about the avengers ....





	Damn the Electric Fence

**Author's Note:**

> Don't ask. I found this is my folder and I have no clue when or why I wrote it. Have a fluffy little drabble while I work on longer stuff.

The first one appeared after a fight with HYDRA in Minneapolis. Under a picture of the Hulk holding kitten he’d rescued from a dumpster, someone had written the poem in the comment section. 

 

My nam is Hulk

And wen its nite

Or wen the fite

Win by rite,

And all the ‘vengers

Haf a sat --

I stay  late

I hug the cat

 

Of course, it went viral. In 24 hours, it had been reblogged, reported, and reposted. Everyone talked about the big green guy and the tiny ball of fluff; the poem, while fun, got lost in the discussion of the Hulk’s ability to feel empathy. 

 

Then the second one appeared on a small Avengers blog, accompanying a picture of Thor in midflight.

 

My nam is Thor

And wen its lite,

Or wen its nite

Or for a bite,

Make all the men

Point and stare --

I take ma hammer

I fly in air. 

 

The post blew up Tumblr and spawned other poems for all the others, even one about Maria Hill who was none too pleased to have her face and name identified online. Thor loved it, hanging iton the common room fridge and sending a copy back to Asgard for his mother. 

 

By the third one, Buzzfeed had caught on and ran a story about the mystery poet.  A snap of Fury on the bridge of the Helicarrier, directing the evacuation of civilians showed up on the President’s twitter account. Despite disavowals by the press secretary, some people believed it was part of a plot to undermine the US government. 

 

My nam is Nick

And wen i fly

Or wen i squint

With ma good eye

And the bad guys

Are out of luck --

I stand and say

Wat the fuck.

 

Theories began circulating that it was one of the Avengers themselves; Las Vegas bookies had Tony as a 2:1 bet with Clint not far behind. The longest shot was Captain America; no one believed Steve would do such a thing. 

 

A facebook page dedicated to the poem housed the fifth.  Natasha, hair blowing from the explosion behind her, graced the post. 

 

My nam is Nat

And wen thing go boom

Or wen Iron Man

Goes zoom

Wen vilans try

My guard to pass --

I stand tall

And kick sum ass.

 

Like a tsunami wave, the copycats followed. Johnny Storm started his own blog about the Fantastic Four; his first poem about Victor Von Doom was censored after he rhymed heinous with penis. The argument about sight rhymes that followed included Norm Chomsky and the Oxford English Dictionary twitter page. Xavier’s school hosted a contest; the winner was, shockingly, Logan with his ode to a wolverine. 

 

Almost unnoticed, an unattributed poem popped up on the facebook page. With no picture to go along with it, no one knew who it was aimed at or who wrote it.  Fans dubbed it the “UST” post and speculation ran rampant about both parties involved. 

 

My nam is frend

An wen its nite

I ‘member your ass

All nice and tite.

All the ‘vengers

Haf mates to bed -- 

I wish you wuld

Lik me instead.

 

There was a long break before the sixth, and final, poem appeared. 

 

My nam you know

And now its time

To spill my heart

In this dum rime. 

I love you most

Now I’ve said -- 

I’ll stay up late

And lik you instead. 

 

Like all internet fads, the poems faded; in six months, people had moved on to Meryl Streep finishing song lyrics.  No one noticed when Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye, quietly got married a year later to one Philip J. Coulson, Agent of SHIELD. 

 

There was no poetry used in the wedding. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
